They are done searching for weapons caches. They had been using probes and metal detectors and were spending the entire day under hot sun. He didn't like my joke about men tinkering with metal detectors when they don't have their Xbox.
He's had a chance to watch the videos I've sent of our daughter, E. He noticed she's "obstinate." If he only knew. I told him I'd almost rather train Iraqis than deal with our toddler sometimes. After the call, it occurred to me how much this single parenting thing is affecting us.
For the first time since he left, I felt like I was talking about my
daughter to a friend – apologizing for her yelling in the background,
talking about her latest pediatric appointment…he didn't seem
connected to any of it. Because the truth is, he isn't. He's her
parent; but he's not parenting. The last decision we made
together was to wean her from her pacifier. Since then, all the
parenting triumphs and mistakes have been mine. He's never sent her to
"time out." He hasn't dealt with the food allergy issues that appeared
after he left. He doesn't know the joy (and struggle) of
coaxing her to say "please" and "thank you." Or that she knows how to
"give kisses" with the cutest puckered face and a dramatic "mmmm-a!"
It's a little sad for both of us.
I'll be happy when our daughter gets to come before our country and J. gets to feel like the incredible father he is again.
monica says
Just keep your head up. I had many days where I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. Don’t ever be embarresed to ask for help. You still need time for yourself, or you will go crazy. I have only 2 weeks left until my husband comes home. I know what it is like. I sometimes felt that he was disconnected from us too, but I realized it was his way of coping with the fact that he would rather be home than over there.
Mom says
(((big hugs))) … know what you’re going through in the parenting dept. and you are doing a wonderful job–much better than I did, IMHO.
~ mom xo