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in the same room: your thoughts?

Bunkbedbottomsmall Is anyone sick of checking in and seeing the same old post yet?  I am, too.  I miss blogging!  Not too much longer. 

In the meantime, since you readers are all so great about giving me feedback, I wanted to ask for your thoughts on putting two kids in one bedroom.  I saw an article on this recently and I’ve been considering it for "the girls" (I love saying that).  Personally, I have fond memories of sleeping in the same room as my sister (there we are pictured in our bunkbeds – Lora is in curlers).  There was one year we were so poor we shared a bed.  I remember all the nights arm-wrestling with her over where the imaginary "line" was in the bed.  One of us, usually me, always wound up with bruises.  And for a long time, through several moves, we we were in bunkbeds in the same room. 

But there came a time when we finally had a chance to have our own rooms.  One day, not too many weeks after moving into our Bunkbedtopsmallrooms, my mom caught Lora and I dragging her bed down the hall to my room.  Lora missed the company and I was always the efficient space-planner; we decided that her room would become the "playroom/everything messy room" and mine would be "ours."  It worked out well and we loved it.  Night after night, long after bedtime, Lora told dramatic acted-out stories about her teachers or the kids at school and Mom would come in to scold us for staying up too late.  Then we’d wait to hear her pad down the hall so we could resume the jokes. 

Even after we moved for the last time, this time to our own rooms for good, we kept walkie talkies and would talk on them at night.  And on Saturday mornings it became a tradition that whoever woke up first would crawl into the other’s tiny twin bed until we were both ready to get up.  Most families bond over dinner.  Lora and I bonded over bedtime.

So I’m curious, what are your kids’ sleeping arrangements?

Lora - My younger (by almost 4 years) sister and I shared a room for several years. We both enjoyed it until I was of an age where I wanted to stay up later reading in bed and she needed to get to sleep. The only thing I would be concerned with at all, at this point, is whether the baby will wake up your older daughter when she cries. Initially, I personally would separate them in the interest of older daughter getting some much needed rest.

Dorothy - Oh so cute. Mine sleep together one is 4 the other is 17 mths. They just started playing really well together pretending and acting. If they go to sleep in different rooms by morning they are together. They just started sleeping together about the time J left for Iraq.

Tifany - I have a 4 year old girl and a 5 year boy, they technically have separate rooms, but they always sleep together in my son’s bed. I’m guessing in the next couple of years, it will stop, but there is something so sweet about seeing them curled up next to each other.
I had a sister and brother growing up, I had to share a room with my sister most of our childhood and while we battled at times, some of my fondest memories are of the two of us after Mom shut out the lights.
I am so excited for you, there is nothing like the sister bond, as I’m sure you know.

Domestic Diva - my step-sons share a room at their mother’s house and sleep in the same bed when they visit us. Right now my oldest has his own bed and we co-sleep with the infant. We have them designated in two different rooms when they get older but if we ever move I wouldn’t hesitate to allow them to share a room since more than likely all 4 of them will be sharing the toys.

Ruth - I’m #3 of 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. My older sister is 5 yrs older, younger sis is only 18 mos younger than me. We always slept together. My younger sis and I had bunkbeds but always slept together on the top bunk. My older sister had to have someone sleep with her AND have the radio on all night. Lord help you if you tried to turn the radio off in the middle of the night! My twin brother would often end up in our room too, sleeping on the bottom bunk or a pallet on the floor.
I have 3 kids, boys aged 6.5 and 4 yrs, and a 3 yr old daughter. We are also military (husband is AD Air Force) and only qualify for a 3 bedroom. One of the bedrooms is good sized, the other fits a twin size bed and a dresser with no room left over. After 14 mos we have found an arrangement that works best. We bought bunkbeds for the boys and set them up in the smaller room. Julia is still in a crib, with the front rail removed so it’s more of a daybed, and it fits perfectly in there too. The larger bedroom has 2 long dressers, tv stand, train table and all their toys. We converted an old broken dresser (gotta love TMO) into toy storage and it fits perfectly in the closet, holds all their toy bins (cheap dishpans from walmart). The only thing in the ‘bedroom’ is their beds, everything else is in the ‘playroom’. This gives them much more room to play and spread out too. We have just now got Julia to sleep in her crib, so she still whines and cries a bit at bedtime but the boys snore through it. They’ve gotten so used to each other they sleep through everything. And we don’t deal with the ‘I want someone to lay down with me’ or ‘I’m scared to be alone’ anymore. We used to move bedrooms around a lot, they would fight over who got which room, who slept with whom, etc but now they just go to bed.

keri - Right now, my girls have separate rooms (they are 4/2), but I suspect they will bunk together when a bit older. Reilly already asks when she can have a sleepover w/Reagan.
PS – The pics are priceless. I used to sleep in the foam rollers too!!!!

Mom - I did not know you used those things at night!! You stinkers!! hahaha

Hope - My girls are 5 and 2.5 and have separate rooms, but always want to sleep together and usually do. I think at the baby age keeping them separate was a good idea with the up all night thing.

Elizabeth - So sweet, I love the pictures! I have a sister 5 years younger than me. We never shared a room and only did “sleepovers” ocassionaly, such as when one of us was scared or something.
I have two boys ages 3 and 1.5, and they have seperate rooms. I prefer it for right now because they wake at different times, and this helps them not disturb each other. It also makes naptime easier, for the same reason. For the first year the baby always sleeps with us (due to nursing, night waking, etc.). In time I think it will be nice for the boys to share a room, when they are a bit older.
The great thing about children is that they are so adaptable, and will learn to live with whatever arrangement you set up for them!
Enjoy your pregnancy, wishing you continued good health!

Susan - As one of 5 children (3 girls, 2 boys), we always shared bedrooms. Usually girls in one room, boys in the other. But, there was a time where I shared with my younger (by 3 years) brother. Now, as parents of 3 (and another due in 8 weeks), with a 3-bedroom house, our kids also share a bedroom. The oldest is almost 16, so she has her own room to keep the younger kids out of her makeup!! The younger two, a boy (age 5 1/2) and a girl (4 this month) share a bedroom. I think it helps them learn to share (toys and space). The baby will be in our room for a while, probably as long as he’ll stay in a crib.

keri - Crystal – I just read an article in Parents mag last night & thought of you – It was about children sharing rooms & how “good” it is for them and how it seems to be done less & less now b/c people are buying bigger houses. I am happy to send to you if you’d like (and havent seen it already)

Moggy - The shared room sounds sweet to me. I just had two brothers and so had a room to myself, but that can get lonesome. I think if they get along it’s great, if not, well then maybe two rooms would be better.
I just happened past your blog and loved your photographs.

stephanie - very touching post. i don’t have fond memories of sleeping in the same room as my sister. she was almost 5 yrs younger so first she cried alot and then she snored alot! we split up when i was 10. my sons are currently sharing a room while we are PCSing and i can’t wait to get them back to their own rooms. they hoot and holler and i have to constantly go in there and try to not lose my cool, but somehow convey to them they seriously have to go to sleep now. i get totally frustrated and overwhelmed as they stay up later and later and get grumpier and grumpier during the day. however, they have bonded and become closer over the last couple of months (possibly from sharing a room) but my older son gets frustrated with all the togetherness and sometimes i can see he would like a break from little brother that he just isn’t getting with the current room sharing arrangement.

Sarah - So cute, I really enjoyed reading this post. I dont think you have enough room…Evyn can come stay with me! lol, I wish, right?
I shared a room with my little brother until I was around seven. He is 1.5 yrs younger than me. I have many wonderful memories of pretending to sleep when mom walked in. I really enjoyed those times with my little brother. I think Evyn would really enjoy sharing a room with her little sis.
We miss you guys.

sam - I have four kids, 19b, 17g, 15g and 13b.
My boys always shared a room until our second move with both at which they were 13 and 7. My oldest needed to be able to build his Lego, use his microscope, organize his sports cards, etc. without my youngest “the hurricane” in the same room.
My girls have always shared. On weekends it is not unusual to find many of them having a “sleepover” in the family room. My oldest left for college this fall and my second daughter was insistent on moving across the hall. I was not up to the move, especially since her older sister will be off to college next fall, so said no. She didn’t really fuss about it at all, I think it was primarily to make a statement. In the end, the older one has been sleeping up in the youngest’s room as she doesn’t have to get up as early as her younger, noisier sister. I always had my own room, I was the only girl, but wanted my girls to be close. Like your story, there is so much relationship building that has on in their room over the years.
They have different interests, different friends, different personalities ~ the room is their common ground. I would go for it.

Anonymous - I’m 15 and have shared a room with my fraternal twin sister all my life. I vaguely remember not hating it when I was about eight, and it’s been downhill since. Complete lack of privacy.
Personality issues have to be considered, too. I’m a wimpy pacifist and my sister is a militant martial artist, so I haven’t learned to compromise, I’ve learned how to be steamrollered and never ever ask for anything.
If the kids have more similar personalities it could work out.
If it’s unavoidable and teenagers have to share a room, if you have the space give your kid somewhere to go that’s just his.