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the thighs have it

Blubber2

I’m seven months post-pregnancy and I’ve stopped measuring the distance between here and there.  That gap between the button and button hole that represents several pants sizes ago, a closet full of shirts that are suddenly too short, a shelf stacked with skinny jeans and morning after morning of longing gazes at said skinny shelf.

I used to be skinny (this is just two months pre-preggers with Baby #2):

Nutcracker2

Okay, maybe everyone looks skinny next to a giant nutcracker.  So here’s more proof.  Notice I am wearing the same no-way-jose-am-I-getting-back-into-those-jeans-again jeans—with room to spare.

SewDomesticFriday2

I’m doing everything I’m supposed to.  I’m working out (I even joined a boot camp class, and I don’t do classes).  I’m eating right.  Apples, brown rice, lean meat, and I’ve even joined the Kashi bandwagon.  And still I’m a full fifteen (okay, seventeen, grr) pounds heavier.

 

For four months I fought it, wearing the same stretchy jeans and maternity khakis every, single, day. And then I finally caved and bought a few pair of pants that fit.  And some strategically “flowy” shirts.  Thank god for the flowy trend.

 

Now I’m wearing what amounts to maternity tops and having to decide whether to wear the jeans below the fat roll or tuck the fat roll in (this picture doesn’t do the fat roll justice since I inadvertently did the model torso-twist pose, but you get the idea):

Blubber 

It wouldn't be so bad if I were equally, er, heavy on top.  But it turns out when you eat right and exercise the fat melts away alright – from all the best places first.  So now I look like a pole with two tires wrapped around my waist and thighs like a tutu.  A blubber tutu.

 

I wish I could be more rational and level-headed and say something grounded like I’m okay with the new me.  I wish I were sane and accepting like my blog-friend Andrea.  But in all honesty I haven’t accepted it just yet.  I'm working on it.  So for now I’ll continue eating right and working out, for my health as much as anything.  And maybe someday I’ll get to revisit the skinny shelf.  Please God let me get to shop the skinny shelf again.

 

This post was inspired by the Nesting Place’s Imperfectly Beautiful challenge.  Here’s the imperfect part (even sucking in a little, notice the belt loops twisting under the pressure; somewhere under there is a little waist screaming to be free):

Blubber3

 

And here's the beautiful part:

IMG_6322 

p.s. you are so lucky I spared you the pics of my lumpy thighs and stretch marks…instead how about some more beautiful?

IMG_6303

Darla - I feel your pain. I joined WW and I WILL be my skinny self again. (I gained weight over the winter and i HATE it).

The Nester - it was worth every pound, stretch mark and size 2 jeans.
Great post and thank you!

pixie - yeah my muffin top is still hanging out, If I lost 5 pounds I could be my pre-pregnancy wait so I know I’m pretty lucky and looking pretty good, just everything is LOOSE so when I wear stuff I used to wear I can’t fit into it because the hips are like 3″ wider if not more, just fro being LOOSE and some left over fat. I bought a bike last week, here is to hoping and praying I can make a difference! I think cardio is the best way to loose weight if you really want too, just run every day for an hour. Tried that yet? I hate running.

Katie - Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! This post is so funny! I’m sorry…I promise I don’t mean to laugh…it’s just that I SO KNOW what this is like! (I’m sure most moms do.) Oh I long to fit into my old jeans, and the notion that one day I will is quickly fading…. “A blubber tut” Too funny! What a cute post! I floated over from the Nester, by the way and so glad I did!

Katie - Oh! I almost forgot…your babies are BEAUTIFUL! And totally worth it. (I know I didn’t have to tell you that though!)

Amber C. - You will get there – just give it time. After 4 kids I finally realized I had to do something drastic and joined Weight Watchers. And I’m happy to say I am now wearing the jeans from the skinny shelf. Don’t worry though – if you are working at it, it will come off – just giver yourself some time.
And, if it helps any, you look pretty skinny in the “now” pics too!!

Debbie - They say 9 months on, 9 months off. It’s not working for me, 19 months post-baby. I think the body just changes shape. Sorry ’bout that. If it helps at all, I would kill someone to look how you look right now.

Tab - Puh-leeze, you look itty-bitty to me, regardless of how you started out!! I love to scrutinize myself close up, until I see a picture from the vantage point of the rest of the world and think, “Hey, I look pretty dang good!” Only WE are looking at ourselves close up in a mirror!!! Heehee. I’m back DOWN BELOW my pre-pregnancy weight and still…I’m accepting that I’ll never look the same again. The fat redistributes. It’s a badge of honor, right?? :)

Lacey - Welcome to real world sweetheart, and I don’t even have kids. I have accepted my spare tire a long time ago. It was hard I will admit. No, I was never as small as you were, or are now, but I did accept it. As far as working out goes. I get bigger when I work out now. I add tons of muscle. So I really have to watch it. You look Great!!!

Joanna - Don’t be so hard on yourself! You look great. Our body’s change… sounds like you’re doing all the right things. xoxo, Joanna

Hayley - I floated over from The Nester’s place and I just have to say your post is too cute. You look fabulous! And what’s more you’re kids are beautiful, so you know it was worth it. We’ve all been there. I gained 70 lbs with my pregnancy and it took a long 12 months for it to come off. Don’t stress about it. My skinny shelf waited for me and yours is waiting for you :)
~Hayley

Amanda - I think you look great for having two kids….

Michelle - You are so beautiful, even with what you call ‘extra pounds’! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now, and I love it. Thanks!

Melissa Lester - What a cute, well-written post. I’m sure you are the only one who looks at you and feels you need to lose weight. I think we are often so hard on and critical of our bodies, rather than appreciating and caring for them because of how hard they work each day.

Regina - Girl–you are beautiful! I know we are always harder on ourselves, and even I don’t believe people most of the time. I have the opposite problem–have always struggle to gain waight. People think it’s so great. Sometimes it’s a curse. Despite those lbs. you want to get rid of, be thankful you can fill out your clothes instead of looking like a pole like me :) I’ve always thought you and Lora both were so pretty. I’d love to have dark hair, eyes, and complexion like yours. I guess the grass is always greener. Your girls are gorgeous too. What gifts.

Pinky - Hey, sista, I hear ya loud and clear. After four babies, I’m just now back to my fightin’ weight. 😉
Give it time, give it time.
Four months is nothing. Not to discourage you, not at all. But be patient with yourself. Those clothes WILL fit again. I can tell by your ‘skinny’ pictures, that with your frame, you’ll get back to where you want to be. Things may shift around, but it’ll all be good!

giabella designs - You look great now! I am 41 and my youngest is 9 and I am still fighting to get rid of the last 15-20 lbs! I too, joined a gym, doing the excercise, changing eating habits but I guess it is just a matter of time! Your children are AdOrAbLE!!!

janice - omg I just found your blog .. the way of the tutorial for the apron i am making for a swap… and whamo you skinny thing.. yougave me the giggles. I too struggle with yes.. 16 pounds.. mostly from drinking.. :) as my kids almost two years apart are older.. and well.. thanks for the motivation to move it more.. and to sew perfect things. Janice my kids are 10 and 8.. yikes..

kalurah - amen.
I can relate to the “fat roll”. Three kids and the last one being three years ago, I am still tucking the roll into the pants and staring at the skinny-jean shelf I have erected in my closet.
*sigh*

kanchan - U r stil loking so beatiful dear,I hav a son and he has turnes 1 year this nov, but I am still to loose a lot…